Maturity, is not always my strong suit.
While I really hate nonsense, I will never not laugh at a fart joke. I cannot imagine a day when there will not be a minimum of 5 reality TV shows on season pass in my DVR, I laughed (out loud) the other day on a commercial when they typed out "boobs" on the keypad of a calculator, and I still take shots of whipped cream straight from the can.
But sometimes, I realize that I have grown-up. It sneaks up on me, but sometimes I get it.
As I have reviewed the tape, I can't say exactly when it has happened. But I am hoping it hasn't been just in the last year or so; rather I have just become aware of it then.
I have found myself, genuinely rooting for people. Wow, that looks horrible in print. Let me explain.
Hopefully, this is a maturation issue. Hopefully, this is the light at the end of the tunnel that was the competition I like to call my '20's.' Whatever it is, it seems like now, I am genuinely enjoying other's happiness rather than selfishly wondering how it will alter my life. Sadly, that was my mentality. And it wasn't that I did not feel excitement for my friends; not at all. It just seemed that everything was so competitive.
To give you an example: The other day when a friend told me she was pregnant. I found myself so excited for her, because she was so excited, but also thinking "whew, better buy some bottled water on the way home." Where before, I think I would have been tempted with something like jealousy or fear over her impending baby. And when I say fear, it would have been fear like "should I be having a baby?" But now I find myself being genuinely excited for her and able to show that. I am not worried about "checking that off my list." It was the same thing with getting married and getting a house and graduating college and getting into college and graduating from high school and blah blah blah.
I have plenty of other pressures now. PLENTY. I never knew being a Mom would bring about so much pressure.
But I think that is maybe the trade-off. Now, I can really enjoy the excitement that comes with seeing people I love genuinely happy. One of my dearest friends in the world is in a new relationship. That is like buying a ticket to see the BEST movie ever. It is electric! When one of my best friends got married last October, it was the most I have cried at a wedding since my own. And it was because it wasn't a turn-key "different wedding every weekend" kind of wedding. It was one of my best friends marrying the love of her life in a wedding I had watched her plan with love and excitement. Not competition.
Maybe everyone else got here before I did. It wouldn't be the first time my development has been a little arrested. It is just really nice to be in a place where I am genuinely enjoying life events of my friends and family now.
Good job, Katie. 32 seems reasonable.
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