Aruba, Jamaica, Ooh I Wanna Take Ya... But I Don't Want to Bring You Back.

First of all, I re-read my last post and clearly, I need an editor. What sounded so good in my head did not make it to my fingertips. I may try to refine that at a later date. Or, dictate it to someone more eloquent, ask them to write it down and then rob them blind of their notes. While it made me sound like the most selfish person in the world, (which we cannot tell for sure I am not, those tests are still pending) I truly had a much more innocent sentiment. 


Okay. 


Can we just agree that if you go on vacation here:

Photo: Aruba.com

You are going to die. I am especially warning my blonde friends. Not to be racists against my brunette friends, cause you know I love you all SO much, but it only took Natalie Hollaway for me to cross this place off my bucket list. 


Also, while most recently Aruba, can we just say as a blanket statement, that if you look like this:

Photo: Politico

and the guy who offers you the trip to Aruba look like this:

Photo: Politico

and is NOT a Baldwin brother, or this is not a scene from a show like King of Queens or According to Jim or another stupid comedy where there is a hot wife and a schlubby husband, HE IS GOING TO KILL YOU. 


I don't solve crimes anymore, mainly because my mystery machine is in the shop, but I will throw you the following bones:


1. If you work at an insurance company, maybe check the "purchased" and "trying to cash-in" dates.


2. If the person of interest tries to go to the airport and leave, THEY ARE GUILTY AS HOMEMADE SIN.


3. If the person of interest story changes several times, suffice it to say, they probably did it. 


4. If your chief of police is named Taco, you have no credibility as a country, tourists hotspot or place able to solve 2 high profile crimes involving American beauties who went missing on your watch. Taco? That is a food. That may be more person opinion. 


God bless this girl's family. I cannot imagine not being able to not have that closure. I also cannot stand the thought of having another Jorgen Van der Sloot slinking around. Very little makes my blood boil like that guy. I hope they get this guy to start talking. I might suggest a wafting a plate of cheese fries in front of him for starters...


Otherwise, stay away from Aruba!!