The Black Widow

Some people are just hard to write about. 


Not because the feelings don't exist or aren't genuine. In fact, it is pretty much the opposite. Sometimes, it is just that one person that you find it hard to put into words  how you feel. 


Especially if that person is among your most  sarcastic, pop culture knowing and over all most nonsensical sparing partners. And it is their birthday. 


I met my friend Creighton 3-years-ago this summer. True to someone who has a name like Creighton, she was your typical WASPY Goddess; she arrived in a 4-door Volvo, toting some heirloom casserole in a covered dish that I am certain bore a monogram. She was wearing pearls and a cardigan and she began to divulge details of her life growing up and currently that allowed me to complete and win the Yuppie Bingo card I was playing. But unlike most people with that kind of pedigree, Creighton was not wearing that same stinky cologne that so many do of "like me, please notice my life and like me."  She had an edge under that cardigan. 


Each time we hung out, I realized that cardigan was hiding a RUN DMC shirt underneath. Literally. Well, not literally, although she did, at a later time, wear a RUN DMC shirt. But she was so sharp. And it was like she was in my head. She got all my jokes; especially when no one else did. We watched the same shows, liked the same music, read the same blogs, on and on blah blah. Sweet Valley Twins. 


But then, Sweet B arrived on the scene. So now, I am in this club as a Mommy. It got real. Real fast. "People stopped being polite, and started getting real."  With that reality, you quickly learn who you should ask for advice, who you can ask for advice, whose advice you should listen to, and you overall start looking at your friends as moms. I started to really assess parenting style, marital relationship with kids and overall confidence as a mom and a person and how to emulate that in your life. Every time, I came back to Creighton. 


Creighton will tell you what she thinks of Wills and Kate or Peaches Geldof, but not how to parent your child. Unless you ask her. She has the most diplomatic and sensitive way of offering advice without offending; cradling without coddling and listening without lecturing. She is always quick to tell you about a time when she felt she was  a failure, but also of a time of triumph. Most likely, in a story that will make you laugh so hard you cry. 


She is the kind of person who is always making me laugh. Our lives together are a gigantic inside joke. Not to be a mean girl, but this post is riddled with inside jokes.  I love getting texts that say "When you have a second, we need to discuss Benecio del Toro and Kimberly Stewart. That is all. "  She and I pretty much are probably doing exactly the same thing at the same time on any given day; reading The Daily Mail and pinning things on Pinterest. 


Creighton has taught me a lot of things. A LOT. She taught me to make toddler hair bows. In turn, she probably taught me that should I die accidentally, I will not be identifiable because I have no fingerprints. She has given me more advice about raising a daughter than I have been able to absorb. I will no doubt need a refresher course and will continue to seek her counsel as she is raising two of the greatest little girls on the planet. Her guidance on sales/stores/sites has been enough to get me divorced.  She taught me that if you are ever stuck in an elevator in someones home, don't panic until afterward. One of her best pearls of wisdom, I feel should be embroidered on a pillow: "Never buy what you can make." Clearly, you see the irony in that. 


She is the kind of friend that is effortless in that her expectations are minimal. But as a good friend, you have to be on your toes. She is a worthy opponent. To be able to get her to laugh, or to have her call you "hilarious" is truly one of the most valued compliments one could receive. 


Her house looks like a photo shoot for a magazine. She does calligraphy "on the side." When she says she will not buy something she can make, it is true; because she can make anything. She is the kind of woman who sends her girls to school in matching leggings and tunics with their monograms and Santa hat appliques that she did not buy, but made for a fraction of the price and that look better than everyone else's. When someone says "Oh Creighty, the girls look great! Where did you get their shirts?" she will say "Oh, I made them. It wasn't a big deal." Humble is one of her best qualities. 


She married her high school sweetheart. Barf, I know. But, unlike some Lifetime movie couple, they are exactly the couple that you would want to get married. Equally hilarious, they are probably as in love, if not more, as they were in high school. I am certain of it. I can't imagine they haven't always been sickeningly perfect. 


Today, she will have no fewer than 200 Facebook


But again, I did a blog post. Because before I opened up my blog to the masses, I sent it to Creighton as a Beta test. You can thank Creighton for being able to read this blog publicly. Just be sure to write it in calligraphy. 




Happy Birthday, Creighty.